Just a little behind. . . . But I'm me and ready for it.

I have spent some time thinking, over thinking and thinking some more on the perfect blog post to put together here.  And then I started questioning myself about all the different ideas that were coming up and if what I wanted to share was good enough. . . . And then I realized today that I was thinking way too much instead of allowing it to just flow.  I have been so lucky to teach this little tid bit to my dance classes and pilates classes and here I am, Thinking away. . . .

So now that we are done with that thinking thing, here is what I wanted to say to begin with:

Very rarely do we give ourselves the chance to listen to ourselves.  I mean truly listen.  We think we are listening, but seriously, have you ever turned the tv off, the music off, the lap top off, the cell phone off to hear what is actually going on inside our minds? Our souls? Our hearts? Probably not nearly as much as we need to. . . . .

I can honestly say I thought I was doing that just because I was teaching others how to do it within my classes.  Heck no!!!! That's not how I should be finding myself and what I really want.  That was just a small piece of it.  I needed to sit with myself and hear what my heart especially was trying to say.  I didn't make the toughest decision of my life to just sort of get to the bottom of my soul.  I had to truly be in silence.  I had to turn off the devices, turn off that annoying voice inside my head that doubts and gets scared and gets all worked up that my process is not fast enough, or not good enough.

Once you can allow yourself the time and space to actually listen the pieces start to show up.  And you have to constantly listen to them, and constantly work through the little demons in your head telling you otherwise.  Just like my little voice from the above paragraph, why after all this hard work did I start to doubt that I was exactly where I needed to be? There is always space to grow and evolve even more and that will come.  But I have the utmost faith that I am exactly where I am supposed to be after the effort I have put in to healing myself, listening to myself, and loving myself.  Once you truly love yourself and love you for who you are, not what you want others to love you for then you are truly free.

I LOVE MYSELF. . . . probably 3 of the hardest words to say, but to be honest I couldn't imagine a better time than now to bring my baby in to my world, into this world.  I truly believe this baby has been waiting for just the right time to make an appearance in the flesh.  And I am ready to embrace this baby and teach Baby all I have learned and hope they can be tools to grow with and evolve with over my baby's life time.