Momma to Be. . . .

If you met me a year ago there would be some similarities to who you would be meeting today, June 3, 2015.  I would definitely not look the same.  Our conversation would be very different.  And for sure I'm mentally and emotionally very different.

The last 6 months of my life have been all about learning how to LET GO all over again.  And when I say LET GO, it's more than just one form of letting go.

Mentally: I had to let go of other people's STUFF.  I have had to learn how to let go of what other's think.  I have had to learn how to let go of what other people will say or how they will react.  I have had to let go of fear.  And I have had to learn how to let go of something I have known for a good 30 plus years. . . . my body!

I'm on the biggest journey I have ever been on.  The biggest ADVENTURE as I call it!!!!

From the moment I found out I had the opportunity to be a mother I felt so fortunate.  It is something I have wanted for what feels like forever.  And now it is here.  And you will hear this from EVERYONE: there is no perfect time to have a baby.  Really, there isn't.  You know when it is right.  And this is right for me, for sure.

There will always be stress: What about my business? What about my job? What about money? What about the cat? What about the insurance, and the next 20 years? Yeah. . . Well. . . . BILLIONS have done it with far less and have done it without books and have done it without a partner and have done it far from "home."

Home is where the heart is my friends.  My heart is with me, my partner and this baby and that is where our home will be.  For now the physical structure of a house is downtown Vancouver, but that is soon to change.  So the physical structure of a house may be in North Vancouver, but the heart that equals home is the group of us. . .

It is so true about the village effect.  It takes a village to raise a child.  Its not just a mom and dad you know.  I was so fortunate to have a village!!! My neighbours, my aunts, uncles, grandmas, cousins, friends, teachers, above all my mom and dad and my sister, but they needed support too and that's what the village is for.  So as we search for a new structure I find myself being pulled in the direction of where I have felt the village the most.  Although at times the village sometimes feels like it is not in this city at all. . . . . And then the next fear sinks in. . . . . What will one do for work? medical insurance? working visas? YADA YADA YADA. . . .

Gosh we can make ourselves literally go CRAZY!!!!!

So, tonight, I decide to take a deep breath, have some quiet time, and reflect on how I have gotten through all the other slightly heavy moments in life.

Inhale through the nose and exhale out the mouth. . . . .